I Lied


Prelude

Picture this,
Charlotte early 90's,
Before the internet and gentrification.

Back when kids walked to the candy lady,
And staying in the projects wasn't embarrassing.

When Saturday morning cartoons were life,
And playing outside was the thing, especially if you had a bike,

Wind breaker suits,
LA Gear,
Pony tails with big bows, 
And high top fades,

Drinking out of water hose,
Living beside your best friend,
The life of an 80's baby,

STORY TIME!!!!

My brother Tony and I stayed with my grandma a few summers back then.
For the longest she'd take us with her to her and my Aunts clothing store off Graham St.
It was soooooooooooooooooo boring!

We would play in the dressing rooms, until we started fighting,
If we went outside, we had to stay in the gazebo that sat across from the shopping centre.
The highlight of our days were getting subs from the deli on the corner.

I guess eventually we became problematic for business, because she enrolled us in summer camp. 

Summer camp was at a school called Double Oaks.
Double Oaks was nestled in the presumed safety at the back of a project named Fairview Homes.

Fairview Homes was Charlotte's first assisted housing community.
My grandparents practically raised their kids there, then bought a house across the street right before I was born.

Note I said "presumed safety" only because Fairview homes and Double Oaks were separated by a parking lot and a basketball court didn't mean a thing. The crime rate was insane. 
Oh my young mind...…….

Moving along...

I was super hype to go to camp,
My grandma packed our lunches, and dropped us off each morning.

I think I was excited because the school seemed so different than what I was used to.
It had lockers and everything...I thought it was just an elementary school, but what did I really know?

Anywho..

Each morning our stupid counselors made us exercise, it was like doing busy work.
My brother and I made friends with another brother/sister duo Brian and Bridgette, whom we later ended up attending high school with.

We were the cornballs of the bunch, but it was all good because we enjoyed ourselves.
I mostly looked forward to the field trips, one in particular...swimming.

We went swimming at Double Oaks pool which was in a community of another assisted housing community (the projects). Mainly because it was close. Oh yea, and we walked there. Yep walked. 

The very first time we went the counselors did a survey of everyone that knew how to swim. If you couldn't swim you had to stay in 5 ft or under, if you could swim the pool was your oyster.

When they asked me..."Chalina can you swim?"
I replied...yep!
Meanwhile Tony looking at me like IKYFL (reference @iamzoie on IG LOL)

Once we arrived to the pool unbeknownst to me, they made everyone who said they could swim jump OFF the diving board into 12 feet!!!!!!!!!!

BRUH.

I was cool as a cucumber until I had to get on that diving board.
I climbed up slowly, my legs began to tremble. 

I called on my Shepard, my lily in the valley....

Now I lay me down to sleep...………

"Chalina WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? GO!"

Rude...

First of all I was trying to pray before I went to glory and he just gon interrupt me SMH.

I decided to sit down. 

Yep.

I sat down on the edge of the diving board with my feet swinging, like the episode of Martin when Gina mocked him about his legs swinging from the toilet because he was so short LOL.

Next thing I know I feel toes on my back and I'm free falling into the water!!!

But guess what????

I COULD SWIM!

After I struggled to get to the surface of the water,
I doggie paddled the HELL out of that water until I got to the side!

Y'all I almost died.

Just because I lied.

NOTE:  my grandma still doesn't know this happened and don't tell her, she might shoot the kid that kicked me off the diving board, then get in my tail for lying afterwards LOL 

Peace.

©Chroniclesofthelazynatural















Comments

  1. LMAO I LOVE this entry. First, the imagery (shout out to the MFkn 90's). It took me back to my camp days when we had trips to Genesse Valley's Pool. When you described how your brother looked at you but kept his mouth shut when you lied, I felt that deep in my soul. That sibling loyalty. And having kids jump off a 12ft diving board as a swimming test?! That's REAL 90's, the same level of inappropriateness as Ren & Stimpy's targeted audience being children lol. Warm fuzzy nostalgic memories have impregnated my thoughts and I predict I won't get much work done today. Thanks a lot Chalina

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    Replies
    1. You are my girl!!!! You got it! This is a true story too btw.

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